Thursday, May 31, 2012

5/31/12 Thrilling Thursday

Thrilling Thursday - life in the social networking world is full of thrilling opportunities, reach out and grab some.

You know, life is what you make it and I am making it thrilling.

I have social networking accounts on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, Plurk, Blogger, Word Press, HootSuite and Google+. Unlike may people, I really like social media, social networking and the like. I like the conversations with people from around the world. There is a guy in Nigeria who tells the funniest anti-marriage jokes. I think he is a closet romantic and the jokes he posts really make me laugh. There is a young girl in Philadelphia who is a married and starting an exciting new life. I love hearing her stories about being in love, young, and happy. I like reading tweets from the young author who grew up in an abusive home and now writes about relationships, though she is single.

I enjoy my get fit group because they encourage me to get my butt up, exercise and eat properly. I like the new prayer groups because they are going to help me start my day with prayer and worship like I am supposed to do. I like my social media group, for now. They will be reviewing my blog, so depending on how tough my skin is, I will see how much I like them next week.

I  reach out into the social networking world for thrilling opportunities because I can be social on my own schedule. People laugh whenever I say this, but I have four kids, a husband, a dog, a cat, a consulting business I am trying to grow and a law career I would like to get back to. I am busy. I like being able to meet, talk with and interact with the world when I want,  when my house is quiet and sometimes, that is at 1:00 am.

I am thrilled to be a part of so many wonderful opportunities, what is thrilling you today?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

5/30/12 Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday-chick up, believe in yourself and give yourself the victory, not defeat.

I was talking to a friend recently who was full of defeat. She had plans to do a bunch of things, go to school, buy a house, get a better job, be a better mother. She was complaining that she was failing in all her efforts and that nothing she touched worked out and that it never would. I tried with all my might to convince her to keep going, to look at things in a positive light, to be encouraged and to stay strong. She just could not let go of the defeat.

My son is nine years old. Ever since he could talk he just assumed, inferred and stated that everyone liked him, everyone was his friend and he could literally do anything in the world. He never let things like reality and hard times deter him from his belief that life will turn out wonderfully. I admire his optimism. I like the fact that he believes in himself and that God will bless his efforts.

Today, I need to call my friend and tell her, "Chick up!  Start believing in yourself and claim victory, not defeat." I have always lived my life looking for miracles and expecting the impossible. I have been blessed, because my God always delivers, always grants victory. Christian folks always talk about how God can save you from the fire, in the fire or through the fire. I have seen it in my life.  The point is that we need to claim what we want, if we want victory and success, we must claim them even when they are hard to see.

It is wonderful to believe in yourself and the power of God to make all your dreams come true! What are you working on that needs more of your faith in yourself?

Friday, May 25, 2012

5/25/12 Fantastic Friday

Fantastic Friday-I believe I can fly, so today I am acting on that belief.

I have always been a believer in the impossible. When my teenie bopper was three she told me she wanted to build a time machine and travel through space and time. I told her I believed she could and asked her for a shopping list. Recently she asked me if I remembered that exchange. I told her I did and still believed she could build that time machine.

When we are children, most of us have dreams. There are things we would like to do when we grow up. There are places we want to see. Then, we grow up. As grown up responsibilities hit us. Some times they hit us hard and we forget about our dreams and live in the here and now, trying to survive reality. It's sad actually. I don't want to do that. I have dreams, things I still want to accomplish.

Now, I am a grown woman with grown up responsibilities. So, I have adult dreams. The good thing about being an adult with dreams is that you have some knowledge, experience and the wherewithal to make the dreams come true. I shall not discuss my dreams here, but today I acknowledge them, enjoy them and am taking the steps toward making them happen. I believe I can fly, so watch me while I float above.

Sometimes it is fantastic to have a dream and to move forward to ward making the dream come true.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

5/24/12 Thrilling Thursday

Thrilling Thursday- because sometimes the reason I don't call you, write you or Facebook you is because I have some thrilling things going on, calm down.

Recently a friend's sister went on a Facebook rant about how she was "unfriending" people who did not talk to her or respond to her posts often enough. She was upset. It was so serious a matter to her that she was cursing out church members on Facebook. It never occurred to her that maybe, just perhaps, people had something to do besides chat her up and down all day.

However, I must admit I felt a little bad about her rant. There are quite a few people I don't talk to as often as I would like. I would like to call all my friends and family members once per week. I would like to visit them more often than the typical wedding, funerals, graduations and college trunk parties. But, my life, my other life gets in the way. I have a husband, four children, a dog and a runaway cat. I am kept incredibly busy by the family with whom I live. The obligations, school trips, doctor's appointments, ballet classes and other events that these people have are enough to keep me busy as well as the assistant I wish I had helping me.

So, if I don't call, write, visit or contact as much as you would like, I am sorry, don't take it as an insult. Instead, understand that I am living life and meeting my obligations to those in my house and that is a terrific thing.

Sometimes, it is thrilling to be busy so don't get mad if it takes a while for me to get back to you.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

5/23/12 Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday-sometimes you have to chick up and get a job done or get two jobs done, sometimes three.

When we get up in the morning, most of us have multiple to do lists: personal, familial and professional, at least. Sometimes the obligations that we have before us each day are so overwhelming that we become stuck, unable to proceed, unable to move, unable to decide what to do. However, the things on the to do lists must be completed. The question then becomes what should be done.

I think that when we are caught in a place where we have multiple to do lists all full of things that must be done then pick something and get it done. If it is all important and all needs to be done, just pick something and do it, then there is one less thing to do. If you can't choose, let the laws of random thinking choose for you. Throw a pin at a the list and do whatever task it hits. Roll the dice and do the chore that corresponds to the number rolled. It all has to get done so do one thing and then move on to the next thing.

The bottom line, the truth of the matter and the reality of the situation is that sometimes you have to chick up, just get up and moving. A few years ago, I attended a conference on women becoming empowered and reaching their full potential. There was one speaker who stood out more than the others, I don't remember her name, but I remember what she said, her main message. She said, "You have to show up like a grown up." I have used that line to monitor and guide my behavior since.

As women with multiple lines of responsibility we must show up like grown ups and get things done. We do not have the luxury of inaction. We must get up, move and to repeat the phrase, show up like grown ups. There is no pretty way to put it, no cute little words to make the job sound pretty. There is just the fact that when we have a lot to do, we must get up and get it done.

It is wonderful to show up like a grown up and get a job done.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

5/22/12 Terrific Tuesday

Terrific Tuesday-sometimes you have to call the day terrific and hope the terrific is on the way because sometimes life is really hard and you need the terrific to come.

There are days when you wake up in the morning and  your headache from last night is almost gone, you feel a little rested and the responsibilities of the new day have not hit you yet. You feel good and almost gather the strength to get up out of bed and face the day. Then, before you can move, before you can get started on what you have to do, the children get up and get at you. At those times you need to marshal all your strength and get prayed up and get ready for battle.

I often quote one of the song's from the move "Hustle and Flow"
     It's hard out here for a pimp
    When he's trying to get money for the rent
     For the Cadillac and gas money spent
     Cause a whole lot of *** jumping ship

In my case, the song has been re-imagined
     It's hard out here for a mom
    When she's trying to get her family raised
    Cause the kids attitudes and minds
    Can drive a mama crazy sometimes!

On occasion even the best child, the most wonderful child on the planet needs to be disciplined for improper behavior. Children have chores, homework or other things they must do in order for a family to function as a cohesive unit. When the children do not do what they are supposed to do and a parent must step in and issue discipline or punishment of some kind, life often gets ugly. Children will say some hurtful and scary things in an attempt to avoid punishment. They will make threats to do all kinds of dastardly things in order to avoid or mitigate punishment. It may seem like it would be easy to cancel the punishment in order to appease a child. However, just because something is easy, doesn't make it right.

As parents, we must stand strong. We must be able to withstand tears, tantrums and outrage from our children. Parenting, if it is done correctly, is not a game for the weak, it requires strength, perseverance, and the hand of God.  It is terrific to stand tall, be strong and be a parent because parenting is not a job for the weak.

Monday, May 21, 2012

5/21/12 Magnificent Monday

Magnificent Monday-because sometimes if you give someone a second chance, they can make things better and make up for the wrong they have done.

One reality of living life on the planet earth is that we will sometimes encounter people who do things incorrectly, people who do things wrong, people who make us sad. Another reality of living life is that sometimes, the people who wronged us are truly sorry and if given the opportunity to make amends, they will do so and will make up for the wrong they have done. In my life, my family gave me a horrible Mother's Day this year. It was actually the worse Mother's Day I have ever experienced. I was sad, I was angry and I was hurt. I told my family how I felt and how hurt I was by their actions. This Sunday, my family honored me with Mother Appreciation Day. It was a wonderful day. It was a day that made me feel lavished, loved and appreciated.

Had I remained in my anger, hurt and disappointment from last week, I would not have been able to enjoy the wonderful thing that happened this week. Often we stand firm and strong in the hurt that we experience. We hold onto the hurt, the wrong that was done to us, refusing to allow those who have wrong us the opportunity to make up for the wrong they have done. I am not talking about unforgivable actions. There are some things that are done, some mistakes that are made that are truly unforgivable. Of course under those circumstances we don't forgive, but move on away from the wrong doer.  However, many times, the wrong that is done to us is a small thing or a thing that can be forgiven, can be remedied if we give the wrong doer a chance to make up for what was done.

The magnificent thing to celebrate this Monday is that when someone has wronged us and that wrong can be remedied, we should permit the wrong doer to correct the mistake and to do the right thing.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

5/17/12 Thrilling Thursday

Thrilling Thursday-sometimes the thrill comes from having the faith to hold on until the change comes.

I like being a Christian woman. There is real comfort in believing there is a God above that loves you, cares for you, protects you and is watching over you. I like  knowing that faith, can move mountains and change the world. Being a Christian does not make me think that life will always be sugar lillies and smiles. The truth of the matter is that sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we are treated unfairly and sometimes things don't go our way. During those times, Christian faith can keep you in the fight.

Faith, tiny little mustard seed faith can make the world better. Sometimes we are facing situations that are hard, perilous and frightening. During those times we may have no idea how we are going to get from our tragedy to solid footing on good ground. It is at those times that we need faith to carry us though. Faith is that thing that makes us believe in a certain outcome when we have no reason for that belief. Faith makes us think things will get better even when there is no evidence to support that belief.

So today it is thrilling to know that faith will carry us forward to the good outcome we know is there on the other side of this temporary problem.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

5/16/12 Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday-I don't have a reason, I'm just calling the day wonderful because I want it to be.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

5/15/12 Terrific Tuesday

Terrific Tuesday-they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I disagree, sometimes it just makes you mad, but that is okay too.

Perhaps I am different from most people. I do not automatically believe every cliched expression. I stop and examine them, looking for the truthfulness or lack of same in them.  One of my favorite jobs of all times was when I worked as an English tutor in college. So I have been in the habit of looking at words or parsing language carefully for a long time. So when I hear the expression, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," I take a closer look.

In this life, we often are forced into some unpleasant situations. There are things that we go through that are hard and unpleasant. Let's face it, betrayal may make you feel like you are going to die. If you survive the experience you may be angry or hurt. Those things are almost guaranteed.  But getting stronger as a result of the experience is not guaranteed.

Sometimes, bad things happen and we get mad. There is nothing wrong with getting mad and continuing to move on. If used properly, mad can spur us on to action. It can push us on to go where we need to go. So, when stuff happens and we get mad, we need to take the next step, the terrific step and get moving so we can make things better, make them what we should be.

Being mad is terrific if it spurs you on to action, to make changes and to improve the world for yourself and those around you.

Monday, May 14, 2012

5/14/12 Magnificent Monday

Magnificent Monday-because it is magnificent when we learn to look at ourselves honestly, through our own clear eyes.

We often look at ourselves through the eyes of others. We see the ourselves only as the roles we play in the lives of others: spouse, parent, employee. When looking at ourselves in those roles, we get only limited pictures of ourselves. The roles we play for others are often segregated and don't overlap. However, our true selves, who  we really are is made of pieces that overlap and run together.

Some of us spend years upon years upon years looking at ourselves through the eyes of others. It is a limiting, stifling and dangerous way to live. It is like the story of the blind people who are describing an elephant but don't know it because they are all touching only a portion of the animal. When we only see ourselves in pieces, particularly pieces seen through the eyes of others, we don't clearly see or describe reality.

It is only by looking at our whole selves through our own eyes that we can see who we really are. Twenty-twenty vision does not have to be in hindsight only. If we are brave, reject the roles others force us into, and are honest with ourselves. When we can see all of ourselves and the reality just may be a magnificent thing.

Friday, May 11, 2012

5/11/12 Fantastic Friday

Fantastic Friday-because our words have power we need to watch what we say and sometimes shut up!

 There is a rap song from my youth that fits me so perfectly. I don't remember the name of the song or the artist who sang it. I just remember some of the words, "You talk to much. You never shut up. . . . Mouth almighty, tongue everlasting. . . . You talk to much, homeboy you never shut up."

Those words are so perfectly me that my entire family from my husband down to my 4 year old twins say them to me on a regular basis. I like to talk. I like to tell stories. When I don't have stories of my own to tell, I tell the stories of others. I really like to talk. I write this blog, and drafts of books because I talk and tell stories to myself when I do not have an audience.

I have recently, decided to watch what I say and to say less things aloud. I have been told that I say some things that are out of pocket and upsetting to those who hear my words. That person is not who I want to be. I want to be a woman with honey covered words that are sweet to the ear and to the taste. I am following that advice many of our mothers gave us when we were children, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

Over the course of the next few weeks, months and years I shall continue my efforts to say nice things or to say hard things that need to be said in a nice way. I am confident that God wants this Proverbs 31 wife to be sweeter and gentler with her words. I shall share my progress I am determined to have no setbacks) with you here.

Sometimes it is fantastic to say nothing when you don't have the right words for the situation.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

5/10/12 Thrilling Thursday

Thrilling Thursday-because sometimes what everyone says about you may be true, so it is thrilling to look at the real you. Sometimes people say things about us that we cannot believe are true. When one person says it we can ignore it. When two people say it, we can ignore it. But when everyone in your circle keeps telling you the same thing over and over, it may be time to stop and take a look, a real long and hard look in the mirror. Sometimes the truth about ourselves hurts our feelings. That does not make it any less the truth. So accept the thrill of being honest with yourself.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

5/9/12 Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday- because it is wonderful to give others the gift of receiving a piece of happiness. This past Friday I got a surprise that made me smile with joy and forced me to smile uncontrollably. In fact, I am smiling again now, just thinking about it. A package was left on my doorstep by UPS. When I received it I didn't believe it was for me. It was a two foot tall box. I read the box, I did not recognize the sender's address and wasn't expecting anything from that particular company. I slowly and carefully ripped open the box. Inside I found beautiful flowers and a vase. I was still amazed. I asked my husband if he had sent me flowers and he had not. I read the card inside and the flowers were from a friend who was thanking me for being a friend. He thanked me for a small favor I had done for him and said that the support and friendship he had received from my husband and I over the years was important to him. I was shocked. The favor I had done for him a few weeks earlier was really just a small thing in my mind. I had been supportive of him in efforts over the years because he was a nice person, a truly sweet person who I respected and liked. Receiving those flowers was a huge deal to me. Not just because they were beautiful and my entire family has enjoyed looking at them, smelling them and admiring them. It was a huge deal because it made me realize that I want to share that feeling with other people. I want to give other people the feeling I received on Saturday. I want to start giving people small gifts, little pieces of happiness for no reason, just because they are people in my circle whom I value. So, that gift of flowers was more than just a few pretty stems and leaves, it was a life changer and I am happy about that, it is a wonderful thing. Wonderful Wednesday- be wonderful by giving a little piece of joy to a friend for no reason, just spread joy.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

5/8/12 Terrific Tuesday

Terrific Tuesday-raising children calls for creativity an determination, it is not a game for the weak. I have four children: a 16 year old daughter, a 9 year old son, and 4 year old twin girls. It used to be that the arguing and drama were just too much. The things that children can pick to fight about boggles the mind. Here a a few of the choice lines I was forced to mediate, "Mom, she breathed on purpose." "Mommy, she said my stuffed animal was fake." "Why does he have to live here?" Oh, some of these may sound cute reading them on this page, I admit. However, no argument by four children is cute after you have heard six hours of it and now at bed time it is being shouted over two floors. So, about a week ago, I started "Kiss Up Day." We started with the teenie bopper. Everyone in the family had to kiss up to her all day. All day she was treated nicely. It was extra special treatment, like on your birthday or mother's day. So all day her siblings were nice to her. Her brother offered to do her chores. The twins gave her the prettiest plate and silverware at dinner. It was wonderful, instead of fighting, the children tried to out do each other in being nice. At the end of the day, the teenie bopper picked the winner. The person who kissed up the best, the most to her liking all day won, and got the kiss up treatment the next day. There have been some minor adjustments to the plan, but it is in place and we plan to continue it indefinitely. My husband explained to the children. That it was a wonderful thing that at least one day per week each person in the family would have everyone be kind to them. It is a great thing that you can guarantee at least one day per week you will be shown love, compassion and treated as if you were special. Some people only get special treatment one day per year when it's their birthday. Some people do not get treated nicely even that often. So for my family everyday is be nice to someone day and everyone gets treated special at least one day per week and I am hoping the nice treatment rubs off and in some way makes life for my children better. Terrific Tuesday-parenting, it is a job for the strong, so do some push ups, mental and physical and get moving!

Monday, May 7, 2012

5/7/12 Magnificent Monday

Magnificent Monday-one person's ho-hum is another person's dream of a lifetime, so live your life like the dream it is. I was speaking with someone recently who told me that the work he was doing today was nothing like the work he dreamed of as a child. He had dreamed of doing different, things, exciting things, wonderful thing. Now all he did was work, take care of his wife, take care of his children. when given options to do something for himself or something for his family, he always chose to take care of his family. When there was money in the family budget, he always bought things for his wife and kids first and then bought things for himself. The job he worked he accepted because it gave him the money he needed to care for his family and the flexibility to spend time with his children. I asked him if he was upset about sacrificing so much of his life and dreams for his family's happiness instead of reaching for his own. His answer surprised me. He said that as he became an older man, a wiser man, his dreams changed, his desires changed. It was now his dream to be able to take care of his family. It thrilled him to do little things that made his wife smile. He found excitement in doing things that caused his children to laugh.His family became the world to him. His dream became to help his family members achieve their dreams. Like the power behind the throne, he found joy in being the power behind his family. He told me that his life, having a wife, kids and a house in the 'burbs was a life that many people dreamed of, wished they could attain. The dream of so many people was his everyday life. He felt blessed to have a life that was a dream. In his older years he obtained the dream of every human being, happiness, simple happiness. So on this magnificent Monday, live your life like it's a dream, because for someone it is!

Friday, May 4, 2012

5/4/12 Fantastic Friday

Fantastic Friday- honesty is a good thing in business, so as Judge Judy said, "don't pee in my ear and tell me it's raining." I have been working on a project recently for a client that is telling me pretty stories about why he cannot pay me for my work. I have started to stop listening to the stories and instead have begun to laugh at them. I keep telling my client, soon to be former client that I don't need pretty stories, I need cash. I own a Kindle 3G with more than 3,000 books, so I have plenty of pretty stories. I have an abundance of stories. What I do not have an abundance of is cash. I am a loyal person. I am a zealous in all I do. I fight for people and things with whom I am associated. People who are friends with me know that I am a ride or die kind of chick. I will ride with you till the wheels fall off, then I will get out and push the car across the finish line. People like me appreciate honesty. I would feel so much better if instead of pretty stories my client would simply say, "I messed up, I cannot pay you now, but I will have your money next month and I have taken steps to make sure we do not have this problem again in the future." That is the only story I will appreciate until my cash come to me. Friday would be fantastic, if we start to deal with each other honestly in business.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

5/3/12 Thrilliing Thursday

Thrilling Thursday-because it is thrilling to get your lazy butt up and make the world what you want it to be. I have a friend who is political like no body's business. Some people complain all day long about how bad the world is, how the government should do that and how the school board stinks. Not my political friend. Every FB post is about her going to this community event, taking this action to improve her neighborhood, and now even her children are following her example. Not only does she vote, she helps others vote and gives information to others about the important issues of the day. Her commitment to improving the world, to making it what she wants it to be is admirable.

There are so many things I want to be better in the world, things I think should be different. I had a choice. I could either complain or get my butt up and make some changes. So I sat down at my desk, made a list of the things I wanted to change. Next I prioritized the list in order of importance to me. then I made an action plan. the final and most crucial step was that I started taking action. I took the steps necessary start making the changes I wanted. I have taught my children, stop complaining about what their siblings are not doing. They know if they want something different at the house, they should get up and make it happen. So the message for thrilling Thursday is stop complaining, get up and make something happen.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

5/2/12 Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful Wednesday-because you have to stop trying to ice skate uphill and softly slide down hill into your destination. Many years ago I saw the movie "Blade" for the first time. There is a line from the movie that has always stuck in my head. The line is, "Some mother*&%%s always want to ice skate uphill." That line has stuck with me ever since. So many times in life, we are given choices: A. do things the hard way, forge ahead with no plan, just move forward with as much aggravation and misery as possible or B. do things the smart way, take step, prepare a plan of action, carry out the plan The amazing thing is that so many times, people will choose option A rather than option B. There are so many cliches that apply to this situation, the one that fist comes to mind is the tried and true,"those who fail to plan, plan to fail." We need to be people of action, of course that is true. We need to move forward with a plan and a purpose. Recently I was helping someone study for a test. The person had on-line textbook and a paper textbook. The textbook had summaries at the end of each chapter and at the end of each unit summaries describing the key points of each chapter. All the material to be learned laid out in a single page with simple easy to understand language. A person who never read a single page in the textbook could read the one page summary and pass any test on the material inside the book. That sounds wonderful doesn't it. The student did not know these study aids existed until I showed them. I was so disappointed. what kind student are you that you never examine all of your books, all your study materials? The saddest part, is that this behavior is not limited to students. do this Many people do this same behavior. They can create business plans that would help them start, run, and grow their businesses properly, but they don't. They could pay attention to what is going on with their children in school and in the street, but they don't. They could work on their marriages and try to make them work, but they don't. It's simple, make a plan and work it. It is stupid to ice skate uphill, it is smarter to slide down hill into our destinations. It is wonderful to do the right thing in the right way.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

5/1/12 Terrific Tuesday

Terrific Tuesday-when you find a trick that makes your kids be nice to each other, enjoy it while it lasts. I four children: my daughter -the 16 year old teenie bopper, my 9 year old son and my 4 year old twin daughters. Some days it seems as if these children have never met each other and are at war.

One day I got sick of it. I did not want to yell anymore, I had no more threats and could not think of an appropriate punishment. So I tried something new. I told my children that from now on every day, everyone in the family would kiss up to one member of the family. Whichever kid was the best kiss up, would get kissed up to the next day. It worked out really well. We picked the teenie bopper to be the first kiss up recipient. All day long her siblings were nice to their big sister. The offered to do her chores, they told her how pretty, smart and charming she was. It was wonderful. There was no fighting, life was good. My son won the contest and was the next to receive the kiss up treatment. However, the little twin was not happy she lost so she has promised to kiss up even better today.

We shall see how it works over the long haul. But you know, when your kids get along with each other, it is a terrific thing.